Overbooked or Living?

I over book. Chronically. No, not in my work life. Somehow I can prioritize that to perfection. But my personal life is a polar opposite.  I’m afraid I’m going to miss out on something that I will later wish I hadn’t. So I overbook.

Honestly, I think it originally stems from parents that were often over controlling and required at least 48 hours notice before I could go do something. No spur of the moment slumber parties for me growing up and deciding I wanted to go to a football game two hours before was definitely out. When I got to college I wanted to experience everything. No one could tell me no so I embraced it all. House party at 11 pm on a Tuesday or Random road trip to Vegas? Bring it on!

So you think after the college years I would have gotten over it. Nope, I still continue to overbook now. Being home before 11 only one or two nights a week is okay with me. The down side? I keep myself running to point that I forget to take some “me” time. I also tend to forget to make “us” time with the man. But, I’m happiest when I’m embracing the possibility of enjoying myself.

Then a day like Wednesday hits. It dumps so much snow the little kids down the block are seriously trying to build snow caves in their front yard. And I hit a wall. I get tired. Not the take-a-30-minute-power-nap tired, but the kind when my brain has powered down, I’m sputtering nonsense, and I feel like my butt is dragging on the ground. But it’s only mid-week and slipping in a PTO day isn’t an option (I refuse to use one unless I’m really sick or doing something fun). So I grab a case of diet coke (literally), vow to spend a weekend filled with “me” and “us” time, and strike out on another day.

Fast forward two days to today and what do you see? Have I slowed down like I promised? Nope. I’ve done it again. I’ve booked myself solid. That wall dissipates as usual, but not through resting and doing nothing. That wall dissolves with every laugh that escapes my lips, every smile that reaches my eyes, and all of the little moments I’ve embraced. For me, those are what life is about.