4 Days in....

I got the best email from my close friend, lady Jen, who some of you may remember from the Booze Bouncing story. She's saying goodbye to the cold and lonely life of Wyoming for a Key West. I'm so jealous excited for her (okay and for my new vaca spot).  Four days into their moving process I got the following recap so far, laughed so hard I choked a bit and decided I had to share...

"We've made it as far as Austin, Tx. Here's a little recap for your pleasure...
Day 1: Cleaned house and struggled fitting everything into one vehicle, spent too much time with family, made it to Limon at 4 in the morning. 
Day 2: Amarillo, TX for A's attempt at the 72 oz steak at the Big Texan. 38.9 oz left. 
Day 3: 1 hour south of Amarillo and the car needs a new water pump and fan clutch. 9 hours later, on the road again. 1 hour after that, cat poops, lays in it, and jumps to the front seat, smacking his poop-covered tail in A's face. 
Day 4: (early morning) Exhausted, find the first motel we see. Woken by "man screams" 1 1/2 hours later as A hops around the room, ripping off his shirt. Cockroach. In his shirt. Turn the lights on: Cockroaches on the tv, nightstand, headboard, mattress, wall, bathroom. Leave motel on a cockroach high, make it to Austin. Pay the money for a NICE motel. Ahhhh. Spend the day sleeping and visiting with TT. 
Day 5: At this point, ANYTHING could happen!! ;)"

I may be a Mess, but I'm a Brilliant F***ing Mess

The first step is acceptance. Check. I’m there. I’m a freaking mess. Okay, this really isn’t news to me. I may be a mess, but I’m a brilliant one with all the lustrousness and great talent that brilliant messes are. Hear is a little insight into the disorder that is uniquely me.

1. The battery in my fobber to unlock my car has been dead for like a year. I’m too damn lazy to change the thing so I use the key. Nevermind that the stupid alarm goes off every time I get into the car. Last winter when I rushed out to the car after work and was trying to jam the key into the ignition to stop the blasting horn when I slipped on the ice and wound up with my head stuck below steering wheel my feet half under the car and my dress up around my boobs with half the college hockey team that practice across the street watching me.p(Side note: still haven’t changed that battery.)

2. When the MSNBC was broadcasting live from my company’s parking lot during the Democratic National Convention and as one of the company’s PR people I was lucky enough to get to climb up on the double decker stage to check out the setting. Only my illustrious self could somehow manage to step too close to a sharp edge by the stairs, that was attracted to back of my pants and rip the entire ass out of my pants to show all of the VPs, CEO and half of the NBC crew my purple thong. Okay and my ass.

3. That time I woke up on the floor.

And finally… At 10:47 this morning I realized that my damn dress was on backwards when I looked down and could see the tag sticking up between my cleavage. Awesome.

What is your brilliance?